If I had to pick the messiest part of myself, it would be how disgustingly lazy I am. I take laziness to a new level. Every meme that you see that has to do with being lazy describes me perfectly. Every quote, scripture, proverb, and fortune cookie that states what happens as a result of laziness, I probably have experienced. I am literally the most ambitious lazy person I know. I have all these ideas that swirl about in my head, and all these dreams that I want to see actualized. However, as soon as I even think about how much work it takes to bring these dreams to fruition, I just lay down. I'm already overwhelmed and need to take a bath before I actually do any work.
Then the unexpected happened. (More detail to be discussed to be discussed in future posts) I don't have the safety net of the nine to five any more to create another option. And to be honest, I don't think I want it anymore. But with that decision comes a great deal of responsibility. Now, I have to make my own income and I have to create my own avenues. This now puts me in a position, where I have no choice but to rid myself of that nasty lazy leach and get into action mode. My life right now has to be all about Faith. Faith in God first and then in myself. Sure, I've made plenty of strides to improve on my work ethic but am I really ready? Based off my track record, well.......ummmmm........ in this moment, as i reflect a see a montage of scenes playing are my head. Each scene consists of me laying down and watching Netflix. There is no rocky music playing in the background, just the deafening sound of laziness taking place. Oh, and crunching, the sound of me crunching on snacks while I stew in my laziness. In other words, I don't think I would bet on me based off that. Those times are behind me now. I want more out of life and laziness just doesn't fit into Plan A.
However, I choose to see this moment as a divine appointment. I've always worked very well under pressure. This is my "GO" time. I'm either all in or I'm a bumb, and I mean that in the actual sense. I have no other option. Yes, having a plan A only, at times is as scary as standing on the edge of a cliff, balancing on on foot, while one hundred mile per hour gusts of wind threaten to knock you over. But plan A is all I ever wanted. It's all that ever made me happy. Being lazy is not an option because now we are talking about the livelihood of not only me, but my son. And I want to prove to my son that you can create your own avenue and make a living as long as you work for it. I also want to prove to myself that I am what God says I am. I know this is God and I will not waiver on that. I refuse to allow the grumblings of society to be louder than than the voice of God. I will stand on the word that he will never leave me or forsake me. There is no failure in the creator which means if I put my trust in him and focus, there is nothing that can stand in my way. The only one who can get in my way is me. And that is not an option.
I leave you with this quote: Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired - Jules Renard