I beat up on myself a lot. I'm like one of the puppies you always find hiding and when you try to come close to them they're shaking because their so battered. And I am now, just starting to learn how to let up, barely. The quote that people say "life is what you make it" really put a spotlight on a lot of the bad qualities I possessed. It forced me to continually try to combat those bad qualities. That's not the bad part. The bad part is when I fall short, I feel like I have literally failed at life. I start to blame myself for all the decisions I've made as if they were all bad decisions. I start to believe that I will never be that person I so desperately want to become. I start to think I'm worthless and even question why God would do anything for a person like me who is a failure. By the time I'm done with my self, you would have thought I accidentally pushed the red button to release nuclear missile and blew up a whole country.
One day I was my job and one of the quotes on the wall said, "To be human is to err." At that moment the proverbial light bulb came on. Any person who has made anything of themselves has always admitted that they didn't always do things the right way. They had to learn from their mistakes. When your living your life error isn't always bad. Trial and error is how we figure out what works best for us. Often times, error brings us closer to the right thing. Especially when it comes to life. Our parents, guardians, elders, mentors, etc, can only prepare us but for so much because we have our own individual lives. Times change, people change, and circumstances change. (Just to throw it out there, I'm glad God doesn't change.) Figuring out success in the 1900's is not the same as trying to achieve success in the new millennium. The process however, is the same.
Once I figured out that error was proof that I was trying to accomplish something, I no longer processed my mistakes the same way. Now, I welcome it because it brings me closer to the goals I want to accomplish. Yes, the process can be very frustrating, as I am still in the midst of my hugest trial and error process. But any great story has to have some sort of struggle or opposition. My greatest opposition is myself. I was so afraid to feel failure and that it kept me from doing a ton of things and I missed out on some huge opportunities. I won't spend time regretting those missed opportunities. I'll just make sure they don't happen again. But those same mistakes are the very things that are help mold you, strengthen you, give you wisdom. And those attributes you've garnered, will be the very thing that take you further than you ever imagined. So, I'll embrace my flaws in a much better state of mind because I know there's a method to becoming a better version of myself. Keep believing in yourself and remembering that nothing is too hard for God because that what's going to get you through the error part of your process.
I leave you with this quote: Insecurity is always weakness, security even in error is strength. - George Henry Lewes